Hot Summer Nights

Hot Summer Nights is an awful movie – see it for yourself if you don’t believe me.

Here’s how IMDB describes the movie.

“In the summer of 1991, a sheltered teenage boy comes of age during a wild summer he spends on Cape Cod getting rich from selling pot to gangsters, falling in love for the first time, partying and eventually realizing that he is in over his head.”

This past Sunday – as previously mentioned – we had a family lunch to commemorate my Favorite Ex’s birthday – think she tuned 40 – anyway – got into it with my Favorite Son and Favorite Grandson over two movies – Hot Summer Nights and Once Upon a Time in Hollywood – They thought both movies were good.

I never saw Hot Summer Nights – tried to watch Once Upon a Time in Hollywood two weeks ago but quit 7 or 8 minutes into the movie.

Now – please understand – neither of them is as discerning as I am about movies – neither knows back-projection when he sees it – I hafta explain the economics involved to breaking down a car in the studio – shooting a couple angles – then running film in the background to make it look like the car’s actually driving – instead of taking the equipment, crew, & actor out on location – paying for food – perhaps lodging – & trying to shoot on-the-move.

But – since I respect their opinions – decided to watch both movies.

I hate to use the term “garbage” – but Hot Summer Nights is close. At first I thought two people were responsible for the almost-garbage – the writer and the director – the writer didn’t write enough plot – the director didn’t shoot enough film.

But today I found out only one person was responsible – Elijah Bynum wrote & directed the movie – first & only directing credit – first writing credit – and it shows.

Not enough plot because the movie has no ending – I think this person did that & was never seen again – over & over again – hey, Elijah – try this – “So-and-so went to Long Island – went off on a boat hunting the Great White – and Jaws ate him.” – then I could say “Man, that’s pretty fuckin’ hard to believe – but at least I know what happened to him.”

And since there’s no ending – there’s also no denouement.

He didn’t shoot enough footage – resulting in cutting back & forth – flashback – back to present – flashback – cutting back & forth – where in the hell are we now? – this ain’t Pulp Fiction – and you ain’t exactly Tarantino.

You cannot – in good conscience – ask someone to invest 2 hours in watching your movie – and not provide an ending.

Plus not one actor in the film is worth watching – this little wimp I never heard of hooks up with the hottest thing on the planet – which she ain’t.

Love to have a sit-down with that producer.

I’ll get into Once Upon a Time in Hollywood tomorrow.

I’m America’s Best Crime Writer

and I approve this message.

Warner Books published Born to Be Wild in 1992 & it still sells every day at Amazon & Kindle. True story about certain members of the Warlocks motorcycle gang.

The story takes 21 years to play out – with many twists & turns – an amalgam of Sons of Anarchy & Breaking Bad – but these outlaw bikers make the Sons look like Cub Scouts.

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