Should I or Shouldn’t I?

Should I or Shouldn’t I?

I’ve got a problem & need your help.

Yesterday I mentioned my first publication “A Taste For Revenge.”

I planned to transcribe the story into a short eBook – which I did last night – took me about three hours – then give it away on Facebook and on my website. That’s the first time I read it since it was published 30 years ago.

Can’t believe what I read.

You see, it started out as a G-rated detective story aimed at Alfred Hitchcock Mystery Magazine or Ellery Queen Mystery Magazine. They were the only two games in town for detective fiction back then. But both sent me rejection slips.

I thought it was good. Gave it to my favorite daughter to read and she thought it was good.

Did a little more research & discovered that the girly magazines accepted detective fiction – provided the story included at least two graphic sex scenes.

Researched several stories in the girly mags to get a feel for what they wanted. Went back and deleted several pages of good plot. Created a couple graphic sex scenes to replace the deleted pages, and submitted it. Cavalier magazine bought it and paid me.

Eureka. My first publishing credit. Cavalier was a national publication that once rivaled Playboy & Penthouse.

I was teaching at Country Day School at the time. Didn’t want to take the chance of having any parents, students, or an administrator seeing my name on that story, so I flip-flopped my middle and first names, and tinkeered with the spelling. Stephen Barry … became Steven Barry.”

When I read the story last night, couldn’t believe what I was reading. Damn, some of it’s XX-rated porn, maybe XXX. As hard as you might find this to believe, there are sex terms in that story that I’d never dream of using in real life. Embarrassing. So I started questioning myself.

Should I post it? Or not?

If you’re a writer, it’s a case-study in how you sometimes have to prostitute yourself to get a sale – especially the first sale. Today, I wouldn’t consider having my name attached to that piece. But, then again, it’s not my name after all.

What do you think?

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